— Guide
Who to invite to your wedding, and how to decide
Start with the people you can't picture the day without, then add each group with a single rule, so nobody feels singled out. Fix the number first from your venue and budget, and let that number decide where the list ends.
Start with a number, not names
Ask the venue for its real capacity and work out what you can spend per person. That gives you a ceiling. Every later decision gets easier when it's about fitting a number rather than ranking people.
Build the list in circles
- Parents, siblings and grandparents on both sides
- The friends you'd call with big news
- Aunts, uncles and cousins
- Friends of your parents
- Coworkers
- Neighbours, old classmates and everyone else
One rule per group
Rules protect you from awkward one-off decisions. Pick them early and apply them to everyone.
- Plus-ones, for example only for guests who are married, engaged or living with a partner
- Children, all of them, family only, or none
- Coworkers, your whole team or only the people you see outside work
- Parents' friends, a fixed number of places for each side
Who you can leave off
- People you haven't spoken to in years
- Anyone you'd invite only because you feel guilty
- Partners you've never met, if your plus-one rule doesn't cover them
- Exes, unless you're genuinely friends and your partner agrees
When parents want more guests
In Turkish and Balkan families the parents' list is often longer than the couple's, especially when they're helping to pay. Agree on a number of places for each side early, before names come up. Then each family fills its own places and you avoid arguing about individuals.
Keep the list in one place
Write every household on one line with the number of people it brings, so you always know the real headcount. Our free guest list template does the counting for you, and the RSVP form on a digital invitation asks each guest how many people are coming.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to invite all my coworkers?
No. Invite the whole team or only the people you see outside work, but pick one rule and stick to it.
Does every guest get a plus-one?
No. A common rule is plus-ones for married, engaged or cohabiting guests. Say who the invitation is for when you send it.
Should I invite people who invited me to their wedding?
It's kind but not required, especially if your wedding is smaller or time has passed. Keep to your number and your rules.
Is it OK to keep a reserve list?
Yes, if you're discreet. Send invitations early enough that later guests still get the usual six to eight weeks.